Monday, July 6, 2009

Thursday, June 18, 2009

OldMajorInc.blogspot Historical Spotlight: The Amazing Prophecies of Nostradamus



For centuries, scholars have studied the evocative work of 16th century poet and prophet Michel de Nostradamus. Aside from the ethereal beauty of the prose itself, his enduring work is most notable for its uncanny connections to world affairs throughout history. Even today, scholars are finding new prophetic reverberations buried within his masterwork, “Les Phropheties” (or “Les Propheties” in French).

The staff at OldMajorInc.blogspot has recently been studying some of the lesser known and heretofore uninterpreted prophecies in an effort to gleen new meanings. The resulting analysis will be released this fall in a hardcover coffee table book (available at the online store here at OldMajorInc.blogspot for three easy payments $79.95). Here are few examples of our work thus far.


Quatrain 132

And so far and wide will a sign of ocean blue
Spread her wings majestic
Moving through pillars with eyes
All wearing the mark – everything marked down

This has traditionally been one of the more opaque of the early prophecies and various theories of its actual meaning have included connections to everything from the rise of Christianity to the Gulf of Tonkin incident. However, like much of Nostradamus's work, its significance has not been fully appreciated until quite recently. The research team here at OldMajorInc.blogspot has determined that this quatrain actually refers to Wal-Mart and its rise to global prominence. Whether Nostradamus admired Wal-Mart for its savings or its many convenient locations is currently unknown.


Quatrain 206:

The guardian of the first follows a cold fire
Past the darkness of the lighted last call
Into the warmth of a shining snow
Blackened, now gold and again – forever

This one's actually pretty obvious. Nostradamus is clearly referring to former St. Louis Cardinals/ New York Mets first basemen Keith Hernandez's cocaine addiction in the early eighties. Hernandez was the most prominent name in a public scandal that erupted in 1982, implicating a number of players in a cocaine ring. This interpretation is bolstered by the fact that there are many references to the New York Mets throughout Nostradamus's work, most notably the line from quatrain 190, “Though the mooked one must stay seated,” which refers to the benching of centerfielder Mookie Wilson in 1989. This has led some scholars to propose that Nostradamus was actually a Mets fan of sorts. Additionally, the last line in this quatrain refers to Hernandez's tarnished reputation and the fallout of his messy divorce.

Son of foul blood built on black gold
Steals the throne of Babylon
Knowing not his ass from elbow
The 43rd president of the United States with the middle initial “W”

This has always been one of the most puzzling quatrains in the Nostradamus oeuvre. Quite frankly, even the staff at OldMajorInc.blogspot has not been able to discern its meaning. Any reader's suggestions should be mailed to oldmajorinc.@gmail.com. If we use your analysis, you will be entitled to a $10.00 discount on the price of the book.*

* Discount only vaild for one of the three payments, i.e. : you could pay $69.95 for the installment then $79.95 and another $79.95, or you could pay $79.95, THEN $69.95 and $79.95, and so on.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Upcoming Projects

It's a busy time here at OldMajorInc.blogspot as we preparing our release calendar to maximize profitability the remainder of the fiscal year.

OLD MAJOR

  • ...And There Shall Be Beats : Revelations 19:96 - 20:05 (compilation - Summer 2009)
The staff at OldMajorInc.blogspot is currently working through our audio archives in preparation for the release of this instrumental album of Old Major's unreleased beats. The earliest material dates back to 1996 from cassette tapes recorded on a four-track machine to more recent digital recordings from sessions at the now defunct 37 Chambers Studio in Toms River, New Jersey. All of the material has been remastered and remixed for this project. Old Major's production style is influenced by artists like RZA, DJ Shadow, Pete Rock, 4th Disciple, Tru Master, DJ Premier, The Orb, Stoupe, El-P, The Bomb Squad, Necro, and so on. All proceeds from this project will benefit Old Major's purchase of a new car.

  • Working For The Masons (late 2009)
The long awaited full LP follow-up to the critically acclaimed "Outlaws EP." What will it sound like? Imagine Coldplay crossed with Soulja Boy crossed with Brooks & Dunn crossed with the soundtrack from "Rent." This album will be the EXACT OPPOSITE of that.

OldMajorInc.blogspot

  • OldMajorInc.blogspot presents Will The Real Genesis Please Stand Up? (June 2009)
The streets are already talking about this upcoming compilation of Genesis's work from 1969 to 1974 with Phil Collins tucked mutely behind the drum kit where he belongs. Mixed by the staff at OldMajorInc.blogspot.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Old Major - Outlaws EP new link added





1. Conspiracy Theory (2:15)
2. Cops & Robbers (3:08)
3. Lucky Stars (6:58)
4. Cave Dwellers (3:52)
5. Birds (7:55)
6. Uptight (7:25)



The critically acclaimed masterpiece now available in two convenient locations.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GDJNYQ6E

http://rapidshare.com/files/209393542/Old_Major_Outlaws_EP.zip

50 million neo-conservative war profiteers can't be wrong!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Official Preview of Dick Cheney's Upcoming Video Game!


(AP - Washington)

Poor Dick Cheney. He's not exactly the most popular political figure these days. But underneath that gruff, grim, vile exterior is actually a wounded puppy dog of a man who just wants to be loved, who wants to honorably serve his country and humbly make an honest living. A proud man who's had just about enough of the attacks and criticism. It's time for him to get some revenge with a bit of the old ultraviolence, Cheney style.

Indeed the year''s most eagerly awaited video game, "Dick Cheney's Terrorist Roundup" is coming this fall and OldMajorInc.blogspot has an exclusive preview. We spoke with some of the designers and were given an inside look at the game that promises to dominate the competition upon its release for XBOX 360, PS3, and PC this October. Rumors have been flying that it will be most the sophisticated game ever created graphically as well as in terms of level design, but the real question has been the violence level promised by the designers. Will this really be the most violent video game ever created? Well folks, just look at the name on the cover.

The biggest coup for the designers has been Cheney's direct involvement with the creation and marketing of the game. Not only will he lend his likeness to the cover art, but he reportedly worked with a team of animators for nearly three works in order to accurately capture his every physical movement for use in the game. The main character is none other than Cheney himself, whom the player will get to control, and his appearance and his every action will be portrayed as realistically as possible.

The game itself is expected to be a mix of the nihilistic brutality of Grand Theft Auto with the tactical strategy elements of Halo in a series of realistic, intricately designed levels spanning the world from Guantanamo to Baghdad to Washington DC. It's quite a promise and with Cheney's involvement, the media attention this game will receive is sure to be exhaustive. But does it live up to the hype?

In a word - no. We here at OldMajorInc.blogspot received a test demo version of the Washington DC level and our initial reaction was utter astonishment: the graphics are breathtaking and the level of detail in the scenery and the animation is groundbreaking in video game design. For example, even making player/Cheney perform a simple action such as smashing a White House page's face repeatedly with a tire iron yields an amazing level of realistic detail - the flying blood and horrible screaming are particularly effective for those with high end audio and visual capabilities. Yes, it is violent, extremely violent, and the weapons and armor available to player/Cheney are so exhaustive that the game will reportedly require a five-hundred page manual in order to list all the destructive options.

But this is also the main problem - ALL of the weapons are available to player/Cheney, so much so that gameplay actually suffers. For example, the basic mission of the Washington DC level is actually quite simple - find and destroy the US Constitution. There are a variety of possible methods for achieving this goal, and the designers have included an impressive array of clandestine tools at player/Cheney's disposal including grappling hooks, security decoding devices, and black hooded ninja-like camoflauge apparel. Yet with player/Cheney at the command of the entire US Armed Forces, it's just as easy to simply send a few tanks in to destroy the entire building. Although there is some initial charm to the sight of player/Cheney at the controls of an armored tank destroying Washington DC, there is simply no real challenge to keep the game engaging.

The side missions in the Washington DC level are similarly disappointing. For example, bonus points are collected by destroying suburbs and housing projects in the greater DC area, but all that is required to accomplish this is simply the ordering of repeated air strikes. Once the Constitution and most of the city is destroyed, player/Cheney has the option of personally rummaging through the wreckage to rack up a few more kills for bonus points, but that's mostly a tedious exercise that feels uninspired and tacked on.

It's possible that the Guantanamo and Baghdad levels will offer more of a challenge, but so far "Dick Cheney's Terrorist Roundup" offers little more than gratuitous violence without any real defining purpose. Odd, isn't it?


Old Major's "Outlaws EP" is available here:
http://rapidshare.com/files/209393542/Old_Major_Outlaws_EP.zip


New album "Working For The Masons" coming soon

Saturday, May 30, 2009

OldMajorInc.blogspot presents Kool G Rap - Pioneer


Kool G Rap is better than your favorite rapper/MC/whatever. Deal with it.


Kool G Rap - Pioneer


1. First Nigga (Premier mix) (3:08)
2. What's More Realer Than That? (2:43)
3. 3 Kings (0:43)
4. Reckless Eyeballin (0:57)
5. Talk Like Sex (4:50)
6. Hood Tales (3:50)
7. Friend Of Ours (1:26)
8. Live And Let Die (3:44)
9. Talkin To The People (J Love mix) (1:02)
10. God pt 3 freestyle (2:22)
11. The Letter P (feat Saigon) (1:50)
12. Take A Look (3:22)
13. Ill Street Blues (4:11)
14. Gun Ho City (1:13)
15. Rising Up (3:30)
16. Truly Yours (4:54)
17. Oz Theme 2000 (0:51)
18. The Life (3:46)
19. For The Brothas (3:32)
20. Edge Of Sanity (5:09)
21. Real Life (3:36)
22. The Realest (remix) (1:00)
23. Road To The Riches (4:29)
24. On The Rise Again (3:28)

mixed by the staff at OldMajorInc.blogspot

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6E0XJ4RG

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Kubrick/Old Major Connection



(AP - Hanover, NH)

The worldwide euphoria that greeted Scientologist/indie rocker Old Major's new "Outlaws EP" has begun to die down as fans and scholars prepare for the daunting task of interpreting and appreciating this masterpiece. This is not unusual, as Old Major's work has inspired a cottage industry of sorts based on critical appreciation and analysis of his work. Just last fall, a collection of essays entitled "Old Major 1, God 0" investigated the divine and prophetic aspects of his music, and a multi-volume biography is due later this year. It is only a matter of time before the academic community turns its full attention to the new EP (available for download here: http://rapidshare.com/files/209393542/Old_Major_Outlaws_EP.zip).

The first scholar to attempt a serious analysis is Dr. Rupert Huffington, professor of film studies at Dartmouth College. Dr. Huffington is one of the leading figures in the growing academic movement of film synchronization, which refers to the process of transposing ostensibly unrelated music albums and films in order to glean new meanings or thematic connections. His pioneering work in this field is unparalleled, meticulous in its dissection of visual connections and deeply philosophical in its theoretical extrapolations.

Although this field of film synchronization study is still in its relative infancy, more and more critics and scholars have been incorporating this method into their work. Unfortunately, the most well known example of this field of study is the utterly preposterous pairing of Pink Floyd's seminal album "Dark Side Of The Moon" and the horrible "classic" film, "The Wizard Of Oz." This theory initially received a modicum of attention in the media several years ago as scholars and stoners nationwide investigated the curious claim that the transposition of these two works somehow yielded a synchronization of sorts. This supposed connection has since been discredited by the film synchronization community at large, and is currently viewed as little more than an embarrassment. Dr. Huffington led the critical charge in rejecting this with a scathing scene by scene dissection in a trade journal article titled "'Us And Them' Is Not About Dancing Munchkins You Stupid Fucking Assholes : A critical analysis of the 'Floyd/Oz' connection." (That work was later cited for a Pulitzer Prize that Dr. Huffington received two years later.)

Dr. Huffington's own work is much more cerebral in its exhaustive analysis of thematic and symbolic connections between his music and film subjects. His first major study, published in the spring of 1998, presented a two-hundred page analysis of the astonishing number of visual and thematic connections to be found in the transposition of King Crimson's classic prog rock album "In The Court Of The Crimson King" and Jim Carrey's 1995 film "Dumb and Dumber." The work of two years of intensive study with a team of selected colleagues, the analysis found over a hundred instances of visual or symbolic connections that were so undeniably precise that the possibility of coincidence has been definitively ruled out. For those who have not experienced the amazing number of connections found between the two works, just start the album at the exact moment that the dog van enters the first scene then let the album play through two-and-a-half times in the course of the film. And get your revelation hat on: what will follow is nothing less than an epiphanic, life changing experience.

This study is considered a classic in the canon of film synchronization works, although it has since been the source of some controversy. Logically, it would seem that Carrey's film, which was released twenty-six years after the album, must have been intricately structured to correspond with the album. But "Dumb and Dumber" writer/directors Bobby and Peter Farrelly have been reticent to acknowledge the connection. This has led some scholars to consider the possibility that Robert Fripp et al could have somehow seen the film and then travelled back in time to 1969 in order to craft the album to match the film before returning back to the present day. This intriguing debate is still ongoing within the film synchronization community at Dartmouth. (Unfortunately, Dr. Huffington's follow up study on the connections between Emerson Lake & Palmer's "Tarkus" album and the abysmal "Dumb and Dumberer" sequel was not as warmly received by most scholars.)

His next breakthrough study - which is widely regarded as his greatest work - came three years later with the publication of the exhaustive, three-hundred page analysis detailing a litany of connections between the director's cut of Francis Ford Coppola's "Apocalypse Now Redux" and the Doobie Brothers' 1978 "Minute by Minute" LP. Coppola in particular was so affected by this evocative theory that he immediately ordered all prints of the film to be destroyed so he could definitively replace The Doors' "The End" with the Doobie Brothers' "What A Fool Believes" in the opening scene.

Therefore, it was a quite momentous occasion when Dr. Huffington announced earlier this week that his next project will involve a detailed comparison of Old Major's new "Outlaws EP" with a yet unnamed Stanley Kubrick film. Conceptually, this is a perfect fit; Old Major is a decidedly Kubrickian sort of artist in his meticulous approach to his craft and the dense, multi-layered symbolism that can be found in his music. A possible connection between these two visionaries could result in revelations of unimaginable proportions.

OldMajorInc.blogspot does not currently have any specific information as to which Kubrick film Dr. Huffington has selected, so speculation is running rampant on the internets and in bars worldwide. Perhaps "Outlaws EP" will be paired with the evocative visual mastery of "2001: A Space Odyssey" or the labyrinthine symbolism of the much misunderstood "Eyes Wide Shut" or possibly with the similarly anti-authoritarian "A Clockwork Orange." But here at the offices of OldMajorInc.blogspot, the consensus has coalesced around the most obvious choice: "The Shining." Much like Old Major's music, the film's eerily compelling basic structure only hints at the deeper thematic agendas bubbling beneath the surface. The symbolic complexity "The Shining" transcends the horror movie genre with the incorporation of an array of political and psychological themes. Old Major's work transcends the genre of Scientologist indie rock in much the same way.

Dr. Huffington has announced a tentative date of 2019 for publication of this work in order for his team to completely immerse themselves in their work. Old Major himself was not available for comment, as he is currently working on his upcoming "Working For The Masons" album due later this year. The world is waiting.


(Special note to OldMajorInc.blogspot readers: For true fans of Kubrick's "The Shining," we have hidden a special message in the preceding article. Readers who can "shine" should find this special hidden message, then "shine" their answer to oldmajorinc@gmail.com and the first ten winners will be "shined" back a free t-shirt and two half-price passes to Six Flags Great Adventure (while supplies last). Readers who do not have the "shining" should not have read the preceding two sentences.)