OldMajorInc.Blogspot 2009 World Tour Announcement!

It's official! Methodist/indie rocker Old Major is embarking on a world tour in support of his new "Outlaws EP" :

http://rapidshare.com/files/209393542/Old_Major_Outlaws_EP.zip

No dates have been announced yet, but the "2009 Old Major World Tour Sponsored By Lockheed Martin In Association With The Carlyle Group" promises to be even more profitable than the "2004 Old Major World Tour Sponsored By Halliburton In Association With General Atomics."

OldMajor.Blogspot Premium Members will be the first to have the opportunity to register for the ticket lottery* to potentially win a chance to gain a position on a waiting list as a possible candidate for tickets.

Some insiders claim that a massive stage set is now being constructed in secrecy by child laborers in Hondorus, but there are rumors that it will be the biggest, flashiest, and most cost effective in the history of religious indie rock music. The stage for the triumphant 2004 world tour was of course the largest ever constructed at the time: the nearly mile-wide set included giant video screens, a psychedelic light show, a troupe of dancing Bengali tigers, and tanks firing live ammunition at the audience.

More information will be made available here at OldMajorInc.Blogspot in the next few days.

(*$49.95 per entry)

OldMajorInc.Blogspot Retro Video Game Review!
"Kenny Loggins's Danger Zone" (Nintendo - 1986)
(**1/2)

We kick off our retro video game review feature here at OldMajorInc.blogspot with a look at a classic game for the Nintendo Entertainment System. Rock superstar Kenny Loggins lent his likeness to this action-packed title released to great fanfare in the fall of 1986. Loggins had recently scored another chart-topping rocker with his high-powered "(Highway To The)Danger Zone" from the stellar "Top Gun" soundtrack album, but fans were not prepared for the video game classic he was about to unleash upon the world.

The original "Kenny Loggins's Danger Zone" began as a coin-operated gaming machine, available primarily in urban markets where Loggins has always found his greatest popularity. The large, bulky machine featured two AK-47's mounted on its front console as players fired at cops and military personnel in a story arc that involved Loggins (and partner Jim Messina for two-player games) in a bizarre mission to overthrow the government. Graphics were adequate at best, gameplay was erratic, and the story was somewhat confusing, but the real draw were the speakers that blasted out Loggins's "(Highway To The)Danger Zone" constantly. For most players, it was that fantastic song, and not the game, that kept them playing.

For the home version of "Kenny Loggins's Danger Zone," some redesigning was in order. Not being able to rely on the crutch of the greatness of the song itself to lure in players , Loggins's production team decided to focus on gameplay. The result is a video game classic that broke new ground in gaming and has since become a cult classic for gamers and rockers alike.

Once again, players can choose to play either solo or with a friend. Choices have been expanded to include not only Messina (once again wielding his trademark AK-47 from the original game), as well as Michael McDonald (armed with grenades and rocket launcher), Carly Simon (wielding a katana and a special ninja-based set of attacks), and David Crosby (sporting a flamethrower and special "super strength" potential triggered by brown bags hidden throughout the game.) Their mission is described in a series of cut-scenes: Colonel Gaddafi and his minions threaten the world from a jungle compound in the heart of Libya, and Ronald Reagen has appointed Loggins and his elite team to save the world from certain destruction. (In an interesting sidenote, Reagen actually added his own voice to the game, having long been a fan of Loggins and Messina's "Sittin 'In" LP.)

The game itself doesn't have quite the visceral impact of its coin-operated counterpart, but this could be due to the poor translation of the song on its soundtrack. "(Highway To The)Danger Zone" was meant to be played loud, repeatedly, in an urban area, not in the comforts of home while playing a video game. "Kenny Loggins's Danger Zone" has its share of violence and action, and some of the levels are ingeniously designed, but it simply cannot compare to the power of the man's music. We here at OldMajorInc.blogspot don't need a complicated plot of battling Libyan terrorists to rock out to Mr. Loggins. No sir, just give us the music. And crank it up.

Release of Old Major's "Outlaws EP" sparks massive rioting
(Asyut, Egypt - AP)

The commercial district in the normally peaceful Egyptian city of Asyut exploded into violence with the release of Scientologist indie-rocker Old Major's new "Outlaws EP." Local stores and temples were only provided with fifty-thousand copies of the new release, rumors of which sparked a frenzy of activity as fans took to the streets to acquire a copy.

"I've never seen anything like this," said John Shelibi, owner of Heat Rocks Records, the largest independent music store in Asyut. "It was choas. Just all screaming and rocks flying everywhere, we couldn't hold them back. Even the Billy Joel Riots of '87 weren't this bad."

Police attempted to quell the crazed crowds to no avail. No deaths have been reported, but there were numerous injuries and massive property damages apparent as the dust began to settle. The rioting was so widespread and uncontrollable that authorities have made very few arrests thus far.

Officials at OldMajorInc.blogspot had no comment at press time, but there is growing concern that these incidents are only the beginning of a growing worldwide problem.

"If they went this crazy for his EP," said chief of police Doug Hazid-Samif, "what the hell is going to happen when the album hits?"


http://rapidshare.com/files/209393542/Old_Major_Outlaws_EP.zip

Premium Memberships!

OldMajorInc.blogspot is now pleased to announce our new premium membership service. For a nominal monthly fee, you can gain access to exclusive content including:


- full merchandise catalog!

- a free Old Major keychain! (shipping & handling charges not included)

- message board to interact with other Old Major fans!


We are offering two levels of premium membership:


- Premium Membership A ($89.95 per month)

----premium membership A will grant access to the basic features of premium membership services for thirty seconds every half-hour

----you can use your allotted time each half-hour however you like: for example, you can view the message board for ten seconds and the merchandise catalog for twenty seconds, or perhaps participate in an Old Major trivia challenge for fifteen seconds, view the photo gallery for five seconds, and order Old Major merchandise for ten seconds, and so on - the key here is that OldMajorInc.blogspot's premium membership service is a fan friendly environment!

- Premium Membership B ($219.95 per month)

----premium membership B will grant unlimited access to premium membership services as well as a more extensive merchandise catalog, exclusive downloads, and other assorted features

----more importantly, premium membership B will offer fans the opportunity to directly contact Old Major - each month Old Major will read ONE letter from the premium membership B message board (letter will be chosen by the staff here at OldMajorInc.blogspot)

- Lifetime Memberships also available!

- Lifetime Membership ($9,995.00)

----our most exclusive services will be limited to lifetime members including: an even more extensive merchandise catalog, special lifetime member message board, and other assorted features

----lifetime members will also have their names entered in a monthly pool with the winner receiving a signed 8x10"photo of Old Major (shipping and handling charges not included)

- Gift packages also available: give someone the gift of OldMajorInc.blogspot premium membership today!

Be sure to download the new "Outlaws EP"

http://rapidshare.com/files/209393542/Old_Major_Outlaws_EP.zip

Old Major releases new "Outlaws EP" to massive crowds
- New York (AP)

An ebullient crowd of nearly seven thousand adoring fans gathered outside St. Patrick's cathedral late last night to celebrate the release of Christian indie-rocker Old Major's new "Outlaws EP." Some fans had reportedly been sleeping on the sidewalk for weeks just for the oppurtunity to catch a rare glimpse of the reclusive superstar. By the time he finally arrived in his custom, dark blue Escalade stretch limo, the scene became riotous as screams and shouts filled the air.

Inside the cathedral, Old Major sat amidst a throne-like display of the album's artwork and the logos of his company, Old Major Inc. He tirelessly spent the next twenty minutes signing CD's, walking canes, and breasts as a security team of priests and nuns from the local parish paroled the crowd with walkie-talkies and sub-machine guns. Was this Old Major Mania? Or just another day in the life of a Christian indie-rock star? We sat down for a rare interview in a confession booth to find out.

Q: Quite a scene out there tonight. Did you expect this kind of turnout?
A: Yes and no. You know, I'm just blessed to have such a loyal fanbase. They're more like an army really. I actually prefer that term. Army.
Q: It seemed like all you could see out there were Old Major t-shirts and parkas and ponchos and bandanas and umbrellas and whatnot.
A: Well as I'm sure you know, merchandise is the most profitable arm of the Old Major empire. Even more than the music, if you can believe that. Last year, we grossed about $4.2 million in women's wear alone. But we'll be shifting our focus to the kitchen appliance market this year so we can attach the Old Major brand to refrigerators, toasters, dishwashers, and so on.
Q: What recession, right?
A: Oh, I'm not immune to it. I mean, I lost quite a bit in the Madoff scandal. I don't want to divulge the actual number, but it was significant. Maybe not as much as they've reported in the papers but we all know how that goes.
Q: You're really getting a lot of media attention with this new EP. What can fans expect to hear if they've never heard your music before?
A: Hypothetically right? Because really, think about who you're talking to. I mean, c'mon. But I guess we would have to take some hypothetical person who might have been living in a cave or had spent a number of years aboard an alien spaceship and had somehow not ever been exposed to Old Major. Well, I would tell them to imagine Phil Collins crossed with Abba crossed with Coldplay crossed with Paul Wall produced by Lil' Jon. Imagine that. Imagine how horrifically bad that music would be. I don't think the universe could mathematically withstand something that awful.
Q: What about your music?
A: My music? Imagine DJ Premier featuring Daniel Johnston produced by Wayne Coyne. And co-produced by Jesus of course.
Q: Like your autobiography, God Is My Co-Producer.
A: Exactly. Available for $29.95 for premium members of my website.
Q: What sort of music have you been listening to lately?
A: I've actually been getting back into The Doors lately. It's funny, but when I say that most people assume I'm talking about the "Light My Fire" Doors, but there was actually another The Doors that were around well before those guys started. They were really progressive too. The only instruments they ever used were just sounds of doors - doors opening, doors closing, doors slumming shut. And so on. It's heady stuff, really progressive and challenging, but man some of it's really powerful. I'm a really big fan of their early stuff like "Two-car Garages" and "Sliding Glass," not really "Linen Closets" or any of the later stuff so much. But they were really saying something, you know what I mean? Social commentary. That's what we're missing in today's music scene.
Q: Speaking of social commentary, you're always quite outspoken about politics. Thoughts on the election?
A: Well as you know, my president, first and foremost, is God. That's who I vote for. That's who I campaign for. That's whose face I would put on my currency. Of course, then you ask: is God a Republican or a Democrat? Personally, I think he's a moderate socialist/Bonapartist, but that's just me. But I'm more of an issues guy. We can debate about ideologies all day long, but it really comes down to: who's gonna help fix the roads and health care and getting the Ten Commandments on Denny's menus.
Q: What's next for Old Major?
A: Well, there's the world tour coming up. For security reasons, I don't ever play out live but Old Major will be coming to a town near you with a full live band and a holographic image of me singing and playing up there on stage. It's actually been quite a bit of work putting all that together because as you know I tape each performance personally, so if you're in say Kansas City, you'll actually see me playing a set list with some banter in between songs that was recorded specifically for your town.
Q: That does sound like a lot of work.
A: My fans - or my army I should say - are worth it.
Q: Any other messages for the fans?
A: Enjoy the EP. Get ready for that album coming soon. Keep the faith. Send me money.

Old Major Inc is in the building...


New Outlaws EP out now:
http://rapidshare.com/files/209393542/Old_Major_Outlaws_EP.zip

Download & better your life...

What's the word on the street about Old Major's new "Outlaws EP"? Reviews are coming in...

"Man, I put this shit in the whip on the way home from the studio with the top down and the purple urple lit up and just zoned out. And let me tell you what - this is some real shit right here. You pop this thing in and it makes you wanna just wild out on somebody, you know what I'm sayin? Like when you see me at a club and try to come at me sideways, you already know I got the burner on me at all times. But see we don't even to take it there because I could just stomp the fuck out of you like it's nothing. And then take your girl too. Early. I don't fuck around and Old Major don't fuck around neither. Ya heard me? Cop this shit. "
- Sean Hannity, Fox News

"Funny story. So we finally got those new poles and full stage in the basement of the south wing. It was a pain in my ass to get the whole thing done because it went way over budget and it was just a lot of bullshit I don't need in my life. Anyway, the room's finally done so we scooped up a few boys from the club last night to get the party popping and 'christen' the stage if you know what I'm saying. But they just took a look at it and they're all like, 'You want us to dance for you guys? That's kinda weird' and all this shit. And I'm thinking, 'Don't you who the fuck I am? I'm a boss in this. All day.' You know? Like what the fuck? Anyway, I was about to kick them the fuck out when one of the bishops popped in that new Old Major EP and let me just say - that got the party jumping something crazy. The Vatican definitely fucks with Old Major."
- Pope Benedict XVI Joseph Alois Ratzinger

Find out what it's all about:
http://rapidshare.com/files/209393542/Old_Major_Outlaws_EP.zip